Laughter erupts across the room,
The joy of companionship in full bloom
They chatter, loving memories they rejoice
Of all the times they spent together, embracing one another's voice
Sun-bright smiles, star-shining eyes-
All to cover the obvious lies.
To whom, you may ask?
Who is the one able to peer behind the candied mask?
Why, it is only I;
The girl, quiet and oh-so shy,
Presence thin as a knife,
Secrets blatant to her, the invisible life.
Sitting with her friends, listens she does
Hears them argue, just because
They can't help but cry and complain
About how everything just seems to be a bane
To them and them only, that they feel
The stain of selfishness their Achilles Heel
Oh, they say they're not;
That they'd give their lives up on the dot
For me, for each other, for the world,
Until their brows furrowed, their lips curled,
At the sight of another group,
The three of them a merry troupe
My friends, their eyes cloud with- sorrow? Jealousy?
Over the cheerful scene of glee,
Of giggling, of trust-
The joy I lust
Until sneers and bitter comments shoo them away;
Why did I bother to hope they stay?
Satisfied, they turn back,
To their argument, sharp as a tack
Eyes gloss over my presence,
My gaze widened, my shoulders tensed
Feeling sick in the head,
For letting that happen in my stead
I slink away unnoticed, unseen
Heart feeling anything but clean
My courage tongue-tied,
I search for a room to hide,
For a place to embrace all my fears,
And cry all my tears