Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The title is a question which is relevant to my life as I am going to college while these controversies are being brought to light. The first line of the op-ed immediately catches my attention, as it is blunt in giving the hard fact of how guns have caused multiple deaths where I live.
College students are not yet mature enough to handle firearm, and should not be allowed to carry them on college campuses.
The author does a good job in bringing up many factual statistics. I trust the author's opinion more, and I am more easily persuaded to their opinion because of the numbers they bring up.
I feel like the author could have used another example of a reason why firearms should not be allowed on campuses beside alcohol, as not all college students drink alcohol or party. It could have made their op-ed more valid if they were to have brought up reasons that may apply to author beside alcohol.
Although the structure is well done, the transitions could be done better. I feel like the op-ed is a little fragmented, the author should try to fit the pieces together more clearly.
I can definitely hear your voice through the op-ed, and I can also tell how important this topic is by how passionate the writing seems to be. I can tell how this may be a life or death situation, especially by including how the professors feel about it, as they are the ones who are very affected by this decision.
I think you definitely have a great basis with this op-ed. I can tell you are passionate about this topic, and want to convince the reader to agree with your opinion. The facts, emotions, and real people you write about really help your argument to feel legitimate. Just by shining it up and adding a few things, I think that this op-ed will be even better!