Peer Review by Purple_Condor_Dragon19 (Canada)

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Where I am From

By: Snowflake501


I am from the red of the paprika,
From the golden dust it leaves behind
And the ting of spice it leaves in my mouth.
I am from a steaming bowl of chopped meat stew,
From floating vegetables and boiling potatoes,
From a salty broth of everything that is home.
I am from the spiral of a ‘Wasp’s Nest’,
Coated with a powdering of sugar that sticks to my hair, 
From the sweet aroma of cinnamon suspended in the air,
And the honey that sticks to my fingers. 


I am from the white of the egg I eat every morning, 
From the sizzling of coconut oil I wake up to hear, 
And the white of milk I pour in a glass. 
I am from the cold of a blizzard,
From the pitter-patter of hail,
During which I was born. 
I am from the crisp of a fresh layer of snow 
And the hazard of icy roads
That creek and crack underfoot. 

 
I am from a wide field of green my grandparents tend to, 
From the blossoms of Spring flowers they’ve planted,
And the promise of endless adventure yet to be discovered.
I am from soft petals that tickle my skin,
From the smooth edges of dirt on my bare-feet, 
And the gentle wind that sways my hair.
I am from my faith which strengthens me, 
From the God who guides and protects me, 
From the family that loves me and defines ‘home sweet home.’


Message to Readers

Hi everyone! This is my first "Where I am From" poem, and I would love to hear your feedback!


Peer Review

This poem gives me the impression of looking at the past through different windows, seeing the different things that make you who you are.


Beautiful use of language. You have greatly interwoven sensory details and imagery to paint amazing pictures in my minds eyes.


My favourite line is: "From the blossoms of Spring flowers they’ve planted, And the promise of endless adventure yet to be discovered. " This line about endless adventure and exploring the world is very inspiring for me, and I feel you put a lot of effort into the wording.


Continue improving your writing and language use. Review the phrasing and adjust flow of your sentences to make them less choppy.


Reviewer Comments

Amazing use of imagery and metaphor! But I think the sentence structure sounds a bit cut short in the middle sections.