Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Read footnotes, leave a comment, but remember to Enjoy my mediocrity.
the backstory of the narrator connects so well with their current actions, and i love the way it's all described. the narrator's dialect stands out and seriously characterizes them; really, all of the indirect characterization in this piece is amazing.
i made a comment about this, but perhaps you could expand upon why the narrator is so desperate to light a car on fire in the pouring rain?
i really like this new draft and you are EXCELLENT at indirect characterization. there are still some things that could be clarified/expanded on or rephrased, and i think you could consider splitting this big chunk of words up into more paragraphs to make it more digestible, but i'd say this was definitely a good read overall! keep writing!