Harlow

United States

A human that does stuff with words among other humans who do other stuff with words

DEEP THOUGHT WINNERS: Zalma and MarSan!!

Message to Readers

First addition to the series At Gab’s Request. Happy to hear your thoughts

The Lonely Pyromaniac

April 8, 2019

FREE WRITING

2
I can’t remember the last time I saw my family. I don’t recall the last time I had friends. Actually, that’s partially true, since I’ve got friends; my matches and the gasoline. The rain poured slick on a beat up Caddy, so I didn’t expect it to light. That night, I didn’t really expect anything to light, but I had to try. I had to. The drenched the cracked leather seats in gasoline and poured some in the dents on the roof. I lit a match and lit my cigarette first. A good smoke gave me a good mood. I lit a second match and watch with a euphoric delight as the orange flames enveloped the car and licked at the wet sidewalk. This was thanks to my only friends.

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1 Comment
  • loveletterstosappho

    i really like some of the language and words you use, especially "the rain poured slick on a beat-up Caddy" and "drenched the cracked leather seats in gasoline" and "euphoric delight as the orange flames enveloped the car and licked at the wet sidewalk," but i think that some of the other sentences/phrases could use more polishing. your last sentence, for example, has the potential to be really powerful but doesn't quite pack a punch the way it is now. you have plenty of options when it comes to endings and last sentences; something i find myself doing a lot is ending with an intentional fragment or using repetition. on the subject of repetition, it's a literary device that could really pull emotion through your words, one of my favorites, and i'd love to see it added to your arsenal. while you've probably already used it, it could be particularly powerful in this piece. it would also be interesting to see you expand this piece; who is the main character? why does he/she have no family/friends other than matches and gasoline? why is he/she lighting his/her car on fire (other than the fact that they're a pyromaniac)? oh, and another thing, while i really like your description of the fire, i think you could add more if you wanted to, maybe intertwine it with some figurative language to emphasize the narrator's fascination with fire/setting things on fire. and one last thing, some of your sentences can be a little bit confusing, same with your transitions. the first sentence doesn't seem to relate to the rest of the paragraph, which is a little confusing, and i think you made a typo with "the drenched" and "Actually, that's partially true, since I've got friends;" is a little confusing as well, when read with the previous sentence.
    this was a good read, write free!


    over 1 year ago