Peer Review by megzegzoo (Canada)

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a love poem #escapril

By: ghostlyglory


FREE WRITING


when the rain starts, i fall in love with you.
and the moon, and the black, and andromeda in a line 
i have never loved the stars so boldly.

into boiling water, steep tea 
bitter like rain, the curve of of your lips
is a dream i have every night.

you talk of astraea and the power of bare feet.
and if love is gentle, i know that my fingers would run
fallingwater through your hair. if love is filling

then you fit perfectly between my ribs,
color in that empty space with breakfast 
and a strong chamomile and the taste

of your fleeting touch, this is not a love
that i understand, if love can be understood at all.
this is a love that the daybreak laughs at 

but last night, i swear,
the stars shined for you on my mind
and i suppose the strength of a night sky

is all that matters. 
 

for escapril day 8 a love poem

Message to Readers

someone tell me to stop this gay bullshit


Peer Review

The celestial references and the way the writer always tied things back to love and the night sky were beautifully interwoven. It reminds me of the way I am capable of feeling about someone, the way I did feel once, and as bittersweet as the piece pretends to be, it never fails to come back to a pure and content understanding of the most inexplicable thing in any galaxy: love.


Honestly? this is so beautiful. I'd hardly change a thing. maybe split the third stanza into three lines that better connect with "astraea and the power of bare feet" and another that compares the harshness of the declaration about loving the stars to the gentleness that could be love instead.


Reviewer Comments

I keep forgetting to stay caught up with Escapril, so thank you for reminding me (and bringing me close to tears)