thoughtfullyclueless

Pakistan

A Fork in the Road

April 7, 2019

Once when I wandered too far into the realm of my own thoughts, 
I came across a fork in the road,
with signs pointing to the most obvious path. 

Staying true to my indecisive self, 
I turned around and asked for directions. 
Behind me, sitting among all of my insecurities, 
and wearing the most magnificent cloak of deceit, 
was my old friend, Self-Doubt. 

Since I couldn’t spot a good soul in sight, 
I asked her, “which way shall I proceed?”
She told me to be the people-pleaser. 
“Trod down the path of fake laughs and facades,
excessively nod your head and greet a person or two,  
be ever willing to do what they desire 
because ‘it’s as easy as pie’. 
Let me join you in your adventure and teach you the ways of the world.” 

Little did I know it was impetuous of me to agree to make amends,
for my former friend with her ill-intentioned advice,
her speculations and conjectures, 
was even more oblivious than I. 
The signs behind me mocked as I made the foolish decision,
for the obvious path that I should’ve taken,  
though with it’s fair share of thorns,
would’ve caused more good than harm. 

Self-Doubt insisted this was correct,
it was the answer to my conundrum. 
“once at the end of this path all you’ll need,
is a poison more bitter than truth, 
to turn your words into blandishments,
we’ll strip you of your personality,
till you’ll be as good as new.”

She had me building castles in the air, 
as I thought about this life that could be mine,
one where people gave me love and appreciation,
where they actually liked who I was. 
I was skipping down the road,
a yearning desire to reach the end, 
when Confidence destroyed all my hopes and dreams. 

She was my chivalrous savior who jolted me awake, 
and took me back to the very start.  
Unwilling to go I asked her the formula for this success, 
and she told me a tale less tempting than that of Self-Doubt. 

It involved toil and hard work with hurdles along the way,
acceptance and understanding were only the foundations,
in her grand scheme of things. 
I haven’t spent much time with my new acquaintance, 
and therefore don’t know much about her manners or means,
but I let her take me, and now I’m back at the fork in the road.
 
Confidence has lifted the curtain of oblivion before me,
and I can clearly see the signs. 
They warn me of the long and perilous path,
coax me with the eventual satisfaction,
of accepting myself for who I am,
and not looking for others’ validation. 

The solution is so straightforward,
yet I hesitate. 
That’s when I see the inconspicuous third path before me,
it has an air of mystery, and gives little away. 

Like every other time, I make things more complex, 
and for the first time, I don’t glance back,
as I make my way down this unknown road. 

I have yet to discover the result 
of disappointing Confidence and angering Self-Doubt, 
but whoever I may find at the end of this crusade,
better be the answer for which I’ve waited all my life.

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  • April 7, 2019 - 11:12pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Uma Bhat

    I have no idea why you haven't been flooded with likes yet, but this poem is the bomb. I feel like I could resonate with it on a near personal level -- the connection was real, and the responses ("but whoever I may find at the end of this crusade,
    better be the answer for which I’ve waited all my life.") were hella accurate. Nice work!


    9 months ago