Have you ever talked to a bubbly toddler who looked at you like you were royalty? A kid that would hang onto your every word and stick to you like cling wrap. A child who had this beautiful innocence that encouraged you to be the best you could be. A feeling you could only get by watching the wind nudge the leaves down the road on an autumn night, and listen to them scrape against the pavement. It's that feeling of complete serenity and isolation from the social expectations we are pressured to accommodate.
I grew up in a small town in Montana. I saw the beauty the world had to offer me, when I looked at the watercolor painting in the sky and how the last ray of the sun would touch the tip of the mountain, only to be replaced with the most bright stars. But mostly I saw the beauty in my mother. She has crystal blue eyes and wild hair. Her crooked smile was enough to calm me after the worst of days. Her nasal laugh and scars were just merely a tiny flaw that could never change my stance on her perfection.
I remember drawing a self portrait of myself, I was smiling and had my red hair everywhere, just like my mothers. I creeped through the unusually dark hallway and made sure I was extra careful, so I could make an escape if I met with creatures or robbers. I got to my mothers bedroom door and peered in, only to see her standing in front of the mirror. Her red cheeks were stained with tears that were dripping off the tip of her nose. She was pulling at her skin and trying to flatten things down. She was whispering to herself how ugly and old she was. That was the day my life changed forever. If the most beautiful woman in the world says she's ugly, then I am too.
Each year the age of body shame gets younger. Whether it's from parents, media, or other kids pointing out flaws, we are walking into a self conscious generation (Silverman par.4). Kids as young as nine are walking around with this unbearable weight that they are not equal to those who have been recognized as attractive. We have hundreds of triggers to set off this spiral, seeing as we are the technology age. But we need to educate these kids so they don't feel the way that I did. We need to show them and prove they are just as perfect as the most colorful crayon in the box and to draw their own world with their individuality and greatness.
As I got older my smiling portrait turned into a black dot. I felt so many things about myself not one of them being positive. The day I no longer felt beautiful it felt like all the stars in the sky vanished and the sun got dull. But one day I looked in the mirror and smiled, I knew i needed to grab a highlighter and make the sun bright again. We are selected to be on this planet for a short time and you should love the body you were given.
Silverman, Robyn. "Age When Girls First Feel Ashamed of Their Bodies Is Shocking." Parents.com. Meredith Cooperation, 2016. Web. 12 Mar. 2016.