Peer Review by bride124 (United States)

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Hear My Cry

By: Itz_Jubilee


Hear my cry,
i am a loner on the face of the earth looking and longing for someone to love me
each day people walk past me, yet my saddened eyes are only overlooked draftily
i scream, "Help! Help!" but no one is there
the fire at my feet rises
i disappear


Hear my cry,
For I am a poor man yearning for a place to call my own. Many surround me on the dark street nights yet I am all alone. Poverty stricken, sickened, with cardboard as my bed
Stress hovering above my head
alone.

Hear my cry,
For I am a black man in a white world. Everyday fingers point to me for the jobs they don't own. Walking down the street feeling misunderstood and alone. I can't even drive without a cop stopping me
racism blocking me
I can't even talk without being blamed for hostility. They call me drug-dealer, gang banger, thief, dropout.
Yet I'm just trying to make a living with the thoughts in my head they know nothing about. They killed my great great grandfather, they hung him by the neck, yet in 2019 I'm the one seen as a threat. 
I take them by surprise each time I go higher, the higher I get is the more they try to take me down,
i'm tired.

Hear my cry,
For I am a rich white man who just has to be seen as a racist.
You say that color doesn't matter yet my color puts me under the slave master list.
Slavery is over get over it already. The way you describe my ancestors' doings make me feel guilty.
My success has nothing to do with your poverty. 
My wealth has nothing to do with your atrocity. And maybe you do have it hard and feel cornered, but each day I am targeted and hated upon for being a Trump supporter.

Hear my cry,
For I am a single mom being taken advantage of everyday. Left alone to take care of three kids,
afraid
I walk down the aisle of my fourth job praying to God that his strength can overwhelm me. Praying to God 'cause its the only thing that'll soothe me.
Soothe me from the tears that flood my eyes everyday.
Soothe me from the words I am forced to say. 
Rocks-Bye baby on the treetop
But my branches are snapping
My world is quaking
Waking up in the morning, looking rough, looking crazy
Knowing that every single thing I do is for my baby.

Hear my cry,
I am the mad black woman that everyone's talking about.
Gender and race trample over me like a tsunami. 
Everyone can try to guess, but don't nobody know me. They call me ghetto, bald, ratchet, and ugly yet what they don't know is the beauty of my chocolate skin that turns gold in the sun
My rebellious hair that refuses to be chained down by the enslavement that gravity has tried to set upon it
Every kink, every curl lay imperfectly perfect on my crown fitted head.
My full lips that hold so many power-filled words and love-scented kisses
My defined curves that no one can resist. My attitude, my pride, my swag that only I can pull off.
So the next time you wanna call me hostile or angry, remember where I come from
The inner chambers of Africa's royalty.

i am a loner, I am poor, I am a Black man, I am a rich white man, I am a single mom, I am a mad black woman.
Hear my cry.

 

Its long I know....I would love to do spoken word for this
Please read all of it.

Peer Review

I was entranced in this beautiful writing. At the end, the perspectives all together made so aware of everything in my life, in the world. I felt like it was fate for me to read this piece.


NOTHING! I wouldn't change it for a thing. It is so nice and unique


"Hear my cry,
I am the mad black woman that everyone's talking about.
Gender and race trample over me like a tsunami.
Everyone can try to guess, but don't nobody know me. They call me ghetto, bald, ratchet, and ugly yet what they don't know is the beauty of my chocolate skin that turns gold in the sun
My rebellious hair that refuses to be chained down by the enslavement that gravity has tried to set upon it
Every kink, every curl lay imperfectly perfect on my crown fitted head.
My full lips that hold so many power-filled words and love-scented kisses
My defined curves that no one can resist. My attitude, my pride, my swag that only I can pull off.
So the next time you wanna call me hostile or angry, remember where I come from
The inner chambers of Africa's royalty. "
I LOVE ALL OF THAT STANZA! It was just so defying and a nice standpoint/perspective. It was very empowering to read (sorry that I copied/pasted the whole thing, I wanted to clarify:)


Keep on writing!


Reviewer Comments

I honestly think that you are a fantastic writer and that you are a worthy candidate for the competition!