Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)()

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The Forest Scholar

By: Ryder


A man
In the forest dwells
Fills paper
Empties ink wells

A lady
Whose life was ill-fated
He writes of her
His life dedicated

When he was young
Twenty summers or less
He met a farmer's daughter
She wore a red dress

She was the fairest
He had ever seen
Wanted her
To be his queen

Another also
Wanted her
A wealthy lord
From ancient Ur 

Promised her gold
Diamonds and silk
He wanted the maiden
With skin like milk

But she refused him
And all his riches
She loved the scholar;
Divine kisses

The lord swore
If she wouldn’t be his
No one would have her
And still have bliss

The scholar took her
To his home
Gave her a rose
And a diamond comb

But on the night
Before they wed
The jealous lord
Took off her head

Pure white gown
Ruby red
Fairest maiden
Now dead

The scholar
Heart-broken and forlorn
Went into the forest
To spend his life alone

But he keeps her alive
In his bitter-sweet words
He will never be alone
Even though they took different roads


Peer Review

I am left feeling upset and heartbroken but smiling and feeling all warm.


I think you could describe the forest as well at some point. It will really help add to the enviroment.


The last stanza was beautiful because it showed that he never forgot about her and he kept her alive. It just gave me one of those sad smiles.


I think you are doing a great job. There is just enough rhyming, description, feeling and narrative in this poem.


Reviewer Comments

Keep practicing I know you're going to write some great poetry. (Not that this one isn't)