Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
This poem went from a cheesy forest love story to a sad metaphor for love and life really fast! I felt nostalgic, slightly sad but also happy since the man was able to find a release through words.
The poet uses rhymes to lighten up the poem, but they also have an opposite affect that makes the story even more deep, since at first it seems light and happy but soon the rhymes turn dark.
"He wanted the maiden/ With skin like milk." This is my FAVORITE- it just sounds so smooth, and I love the imagery but also the combination of touch and looks.
I think you should definitely keep working at this one- it has a lot of promise, and I think by enriching the details and adding some more metaphors/similes, you can turn a story into a beautifully woven tale.
GREAT job! This was fun to read, and definitely evolved to be way deeper and thought-provoking than I had imagined.