Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
It made me long for what might have been. It was so sweet and sad. What if things had been different? What if my life were different?
I would like to feel more of his love for her. That part of the poem feels a little dispassionate. If he loved her, make the reader feel that love!
My favorite is probably the last two lines. Just a really sweet reminder that death doesn't mean they are gone.
This is a great idea! I love how sweet and simple it was. You really struck the core of the message you were trying to get across and didn't dress it up in too many fancy words!
I would like it if it were a little longer. Maybe a stanza about courting her, one about finding her dead, something along those lines.