Peer Review by SparklingEmbers (United States of America)

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The Forest Scholar

By: Ryder


A man
In the forest dwells
Fills paper
Empties ink wells

A lady
Whose life was ill-fated
He writes of her
His life dedicated

When he was young
Twenty summers or less
He met a farmer's daughter
She wore a red dress

She was the fairest
He had ever seen
Wanted her
To be his queen

Another also
Wanted her
A wealthy lord
From ancient Ur 

Promised her gold
Diamonds and silk
He wanted the maiden
With skin like milk

But she refused him
And all his riches
She loved the scholar;
Divine kisses

The lord swore
If she wouldn’t be his
No one would have her
And still have bliss

The scholar took her
To his home
Gave her a rose
And a diamond comb

But on the night
Before they wed
The jealous lord
Took off her head

Pure white gown
Ruby red
Fairest maiden
Now dead

The scholar
Heart-broken and forlorn
Went into the forest
To spend his life alone

But he keeps her alive
In his bitter-sweet words
He will never be alone
Even though they took different roads


Peer Review

The impression this poem has is powerful, it's a little bittersweet at the end


it's already well written!! for sensory detail i may add what the forest smells/looks like- and any memories the man had of the woman before she died but it is great and does not need any more adding on


All of them, pretty much, but the ending: "Even though they took different roads" had a powerful impact on me


It's amazing how you were able to fit a story in a poem, with natural rhymes and great descriptions, I know you'll do great :)


Reviewer Comments

This was a really great poem!!