Peer Review by bibliophile (United States)

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A Flooded Creek

By: Quille


The creek has flooded 
And I can no longer find the gossamer strands
Of water
Flowing over and over rock 
Like wool through the spinner's hands

The creek has flooded 
With tears of the sky,
Crying over her winter-dead
Earth
And longing for the day when we break free

The creek has flooded
Washing away the rocks and fish I knew yesterday
The same as the coming onslaught 
Of years
Takes my childhood away 

The creek had flooded 
And sings a stronger, braver 
Song 
Than I would ever dare
But perhaps I can learn this one too


Message to Readers

S'up?


Peer Review

This poem left me feeling moved. The story of what was lost when that creek flooded was what made it so moving. The line 'takes my childhood away' really left me with a sense of how much the creek meant to the narrator.


You have a good use of similes, metaphors, and personification. I feel like you could use more sensory detail. Try to find a place to incorporate each of the five senses, some of them more than once if possible, somewhere throughout your poem.


The last line would have to be my favorite, although all of them are beautiful. I especially liked that last stanza as a whole. I feel like you packed a lot of meaning into that stanza and line that left me feeling moved as a reader.


Your writing is beautiful and meaningful! With a little more sensory detail your piece will be top-notch! I know you'll take this piece to amazing places, and find brilliant ways to make it better. You got this!


Reviewer Comments

Beautiful piece! Keep writing!