Peer Review by Paula2431 (United States)

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Just a piece.........

By: Ryder


FREE WRITING

I knocked on the door and kind of hoped he wouldn't be there. He was. He opened the door and as soon as he saw me his eyes lit up and that care free smile spread across his face. "Hey, Megan! Wan't to come in?" The lump in my throat doubled in size and I started to cry. If he only knew why I came. "What's wrong?" he took my hand and led me to the living room couch. "Oh, Pat...I'm sorry." I tried to find the right words. "Meg, what happened?" Every time he spoke it made it harder to tell him, because he was concerned for me. "Pat, I didn't see them coming...I went out on the road and they swerved...I'm so sorry!" He pulled me into a hug as he realized what I was talking about. His parents were dead.


Peer Review

You got the message across in a flowing manner.


Some more details his reaction afterward and maybe what the boy was thinking.


Reviewer Comments

Overall it was very well written and thought out I congratulate you for your skills with words.