United States

i've always said

March 24, 2019


i've always said i wanted to be a doctor
it's what i wrote on my time capsule in 3rd grade
it's what i told my teachers when they asked me what i wanted to be

i've always said that science was magic
it had the power of pulling people back from the edges of life
and seeing things that maybe weren't meant to be seen

i've always said i wanted to be a doctor
but i hate hospitals
i hate the silence
and the noise
i hate the cream curtains
and the nurses that smile with pity in their eyes and
sympathy hanging off the tips of their tongues
i hate watching the lady in the next room over disappear
and feeling my heart clench when her daughter walks past our door without waving to me
like she used to
i hate myself for wanting to beg my mom to let us leave
when i know i should be asking to stay with hers

so i sit in the tiny room and
and for a moment
i take back my words
that i've always said
and for a moment
i don't want to end up
in the place that's meant to fix people
but breaks just as many
i love you grandma

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • AbigailSauble

    This is so beautiful ... great job. =)

    almost 2 years ago
  • loveletterstosappho

    god this is such a heartbreaking, well-crafted, emotional, powerful, and all around amazing piece. the last stanza and especially the last three lines are breathtaking in every way. wishing you well; amazing work.

    almost 2 years ago