Peer Review by The Dreamer (South Africa)()

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#Feathers

By: Johanna


FREE WRITING

Feathers.
Searching- forever searching;
those feathers.
The heads of the crowd
too many
-no, no-
only the feathers,
just the feathers.

Feathers- flying in the wind
trembling; quivering
like the scratching on
old, yellow parchment
with quills.

Feathers, feathers, feathers.
Still searching, the wisp of one
or the tail of another
dancing on his head
decorating tipping hats and
the slightest hint of a smile.

Are you looking for me too?
Waving feathers tangled 
with locks of hair
searching, searching
for my own feathers:
tingling fingertips and 
my soft plumes of whispers

Do you still remember? 
My feather- you must not
you must not forget me
for I will not do so,
and you shall not either.

Oh, darling.
I see you in my dreams
-day and night-
the flapping of wings is constant
the sighs of yours is too.
Rain is welcome
blurry and ethereal
the mist helps me imagine
helps me dream 
and if only I didn't need to close my eyes
to see you, my dearest, my love, my darling
my feather
my earth, my sky, my air, my dear.


Message to Readers

Do you see me too?


Peer Review

This was delightful! It was so cute! i could really hear and feel the longing and grief in the writers voice, and that's what I liked most about it.


Feather is a person, correct? I feel like you could include a little more confirmation on that angle. Perhaps even a slight description of Feather or a memory as the writer is searching for them.


Reviewer Comments

I loved the way you used your words to create a lovely dream-like and yet sad atmosphere. Well done!