I didn't mean to hit the brakes, you had so many years ahead of you until my dodgy driving skills ended it abruptly. I have to live every day knowing you can’t and it is my fault. You could have graduated, fallen in love even if it wasn’t with me. Because you deserved it and I was mad. That I couldn’t tell you in time how much I love you. Loved.
I know you could have done great things and had such an amazing life and now because I lost it you can’t. Won’t. When your head hit the dashboard and I heard a crack I knew something was wrong. When I was sitting there staring in shock I could have done something. When I heard the ambulance coming up behind us and when I screamed your name when they rolled you away I knew I was a failure. I failed you, I didn’t save you. I failed, and no one can convince me otherwise.
When the doctor came out, head down in sorrow I knew you could have had so much. When I went in to see you I knew your coffee brown eyes would never meet mine again. You wouldn’t smile at a joke a light laugh resting on your lips that I wanted to meet with mine so many times. Because your heart won’t beat again and mine won’t either if you aren’t there.