Peer Review by Hanan Adi (Germany)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

She left last night

By: Hailey Duggirala

PROMPT: Quartet

She never says goodbye. It's this rule she has-saying goodbye makes it permanent. Saying goodbye is messy. And so we never said goodbye, her and I. She packed her bags, quietly. She left in the dead of night, never the one for dramatic exits. I can't say I was surprised. Left without saying goodbye;she always does. Her hair ribbon is on the dresser. She always leaves something, for next time. It isn't saying goodbye, not really, but it's comforting all the same. It means the pattern will continue.  Loving, leaving, self destructing, self medicating, and coming back again. Cruel, but always the same-it means she will come back to me again someday. She left last night again, without saying goodbye. 

Message to Readers

Any feedback much welcome

Peer Review

I think that the girl leaves her hair ribbon on the dresser is the most revealing detail. It shows that although she may seem brusque or uncaring by not saying goodbye, she really cares for her friend, and is considerate enough to leave a memento of herself for her friend to remember her by, until she returns.

I would like to know why the girl always has to leave, and where she leaves to. It sounds almost as if she is running away from home, stays away awhile, then returns when she discovers that she is not better off on her own. Maybe she struggles to make out what she wants to do or who she wants to be. Am I close?

Reviewer Comments

Good day, Hailey.

Thank you for sharing your character with us. I am curious to know more about her. Did you think her up for the prompt, or is she character from another work of yours?

I am glad you liked my piece, "After We Do"; you are welcome to all my other pieces as well. I also saw your response to the "After" prompt. Just a friendly note: a quiet request entices me much more to review a piece than a demand . . . maybe you would like to alter your message to readers on that piece?

Thank you for sharing your work with us, and happy future reading and writing, Hailey.

Hanan A.