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Message to Readers
Comment how you think I should end this poem using a couplet.
i’m always astounded at how well you use words—everything is presented with immense concentration to detail. you use poetic puns and slowly introduce new ideas while keeping flow and tone steady. your consistency in this area is wonderful, and your poems are always worth reading for this reason.
the biggest improvement to be added to this work is clarity about your characters. i found two things confusing—“i” and “you”. it’s clear that neither is bride or groom, but it’s unclear what role they play in the wedding. is the first person narrator a spectator of the wedding who loves the bride? that’s what i gathered, but i’m not sure. and i have no ideas about who “you” might be—is it the groom?
i highlighted most of the stuff i particularly liked, and also the things that need clarifying.
again, i’m totally in awe of everything you write. keep it up; i look forward to reading more of your work.