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Message to Readers

This is to comment on this idea of hyper masculinity and how it is poisoning the very idea of what a man should represent. I would just like to ask what you liked about it and some ideas for how to make it better.

Be A Man!

March 14, 2019

A man is a very interesting specimen. It is true, testosterone is the male sex hormone which is key in development of male reproductive tissues. It promotes secondary sexual characteristics such as increased muscle and bone mass. It also  comes with two working bells and a whistle—some bigger than others, but who’s measuring? What’s the use of measuring when you have already begun to overcompensate? There are rules to being a man which you must follow very closely.

Rule 1: No feelings
Emotions are for woman, and if you have any on you I want you to put them in your purse and hang it up. What are feelings anyway? Who the hell wants to talk about how they feel. Stop being a wimp and drink your problems away. In no time you’ll be so worried about vomiting than instead of talking about how your girlfriend broke up with you because your closed off. It’s never ok to be vulnerable. Never!!! Don’t talk about how you gave your heart to someone and they broke it. You can’t talk about how you felt not growing up without a father. You can only hold in all the pain and cry inside because if you dare cry on the outside then the world will shun you.

    Rule 2: Remove Your Heart
“Kobe” that bad boy in the trash because you won't be needing it where you're going. No longer can you pick up a puppy and call it cute. No longer can you tell people how you feel and this is why statistically women live longer than us because you must suppress everything hey but an early death is the price we have to pay to be a man. .  You can’t call that dog cute or show empathy of any kind. To have a heart means that you are either a women or that you are gay. You can’t dress this way, or act this way or move this way because it’s feminine. You can’t live the life you want because you must critique what is manly and what is not.
    Rule 3: Watch What You Eat
You better break that banana before you shove it in your mouth. You better not enjoy eating that sausage or hot dog.  
    Rule 4: The hit list

Nothing is more manlier than telling your bros how many chicks you banged. Even if you didn’t have sex yet, LIE!! Make it the best damn lie you ever told with all the porn experience you have in your back pocket because no one wants to be a male virgin. Have a girl for everyday of the week because you’re afraid to let anyone in. Because your afraid of love and what it can do to you. You sleep with women to gain some kind of satisfaction of not sleeping alone but also not being committed. It’s better that way. Only to look back in a couple year and realize that death could have been avoided for a few more years if you had love in your life.
    Rule 5: Be a douche bag 
Every girl loves your average tough guy Joe. Always assert your dominance because your self conscious about you manhood. Go to the gym and become taller. If you weren’t blessed with the genes to look like a man well hell I guess your not suppose to be one.
   Rule 6: Remember the 3 P’s
Be the protector, the provider, and the pursuer. It is your job to support your family and the people you care for the most. Never take a hand out because help of any kind represents weakness. You must not only protector yourself but the people you love. If you are not big and tall then you are the weakest link.  Be the pursuer. You must be the outgoing and relentless when going for the things you want and neglect to see the lines that separate your ambition from what is right.

    Rule 7: Fear Everything
We must take control of the unknown and fight against those who seek to destroy our manhood. This is why we seek to keep other men down or fight to keep women from becoming too powerful because we must be the alpha. We must maintain a sense of security in being a man. Anything that is aimed defy those ideals must be destroyed.  

    Rule 8: There are no rules
    I hope while you were reading this that you understand that there are no rules to being a man. I want you to understand that a man can do anything only if and when he understands that he must first be comfortable in himself and in his masculinity. It is foolish to believe that a man must be beyond human to be considered a man and such norms are what crimping not not only men in general but the society which well live.


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  • March 14, 2019 - 9:29pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Ruthh

    I love the way you’ve formatted this piece!! It’s so clever and it’s such a clever commentary on what toxic masculinity is. Toxic masculinity SUCKS

    about 1 year ago