Peer Review by Gabby Mahabeer (United States)

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The Ten of Us

By: worldwithinapaperback


0 for the one who said we'd never make it
  (look where we are now)
1 for the one who always tried to break it
  (it ended in a nasty row)
2 for the one who never let me down
  (I miss you more every day)
3 for the one who will always wear the crown
  (not so much, dare I say)
4 for the one who tries again and again
  (keep going, just you see) 
5 for the one who proudly wears her pain
  (I'm so, so sorry)
6 for the one who holds up the light
  (I'd never live without)
7 for the one who can't resist a fight
  (and will win, no doubt)
8 for the one who just wants to play
  (the future's just as bright)
9 for the one who needs another day
  (to last another night)

Peer Review

I like how the numbers correlated with the person/ people it represented. This correlation strengthened your work by creating a bond between your subjects.

I liked 5 the most and I think you can add more about it because pain is something that everyone feels and a pain is a story that's waiting to be told.

Reviewer Comments

Good job. I look forward to reading more of your work.