Peer Review by kanigi7 (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

The Ten of Us

By: worldwithinapaperback


0 for the one who said we'd never make it
  (look where we are now)
1 for the one who always tried to break it
  (it ended in a nasty row)
2 for the one who never let me down
  (I miss you more every day)
3 for the one who will always wear the crown
  (not so much, dare I say)
4 for the one who tries again and again
  (keep going, just you see) 
5 for the one who proudly wears her pain
  (I'm so, so sorry)
6 for the one who holds up the light
  (I'd never live without)
7 for the one who can't resist a fight
  (and will win, no doubt)
8 for the one who just wants to play
  (the future's just as bright)
9 for the one who needs another day
  (to last another night)

Peer Review

It gives a sense of something. I can't put a finger on it, but it adds something special to the piece.

I think I want to know more about 1. "For the one who always tried to break it//it ended in a nasty row." what is this person trying to break?

Reviewer Comments

The piece as a whole is beautiful. The details in parenthesis are an incredible addition in my opinion. This is really good. Keep working :]