Peer Review by inkyscribbles (United States)

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Crestfallen #ettu?brutus

By: Opal Drop


My heart fell
You Warped it,
Corrupted it,
Embraced it, then
Broke it.

My heart was made of delicate
You knew that better than
anyone else.
So you Captured it.
Blew false truths
into it.
It grew Warm, began to 
But you Blew, 
and Whispered,
and Caressed.

So much that it Shattered. 

Your hands twist my Sight.
You draw out the Tears in my eyes.
They glisten, feeling the pain of Betrayal.
My cries fall on Deaf ears.

I cannot bear the Pain of your Traitorous doings
I am but a Weak soul.

The waning crescent can only represent what I have left. 
My Wretched life,
Your Torturous murmurs.
Are too Unbearable.

My conclusion is Nearing...
I cannot sustain the Pain longer.



Peer Review

I loved how you capitalized the fist letter of the words that really matter in your piece. It makes your writing different and more exciting to read.

I got to be honest with you this is a pretty straight forward beautiful piece just continue to use captivating words that suck the readers into your writing and keep being awesome!

Reviewer Comments

I love this piece it was literally heart wrenching! BTW I am a Ravenclaw and I love HP tooooo! I'm also a Thunderbird in Ilvermorny.