Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I really enjoyed the humanity and message behind this piece. It goes from a time where people would truly communicate with one another, and be selfless, and be sort of like heroes to one another, but then shifts narrative to today's world, where most of those great traits are lost or buried in the past. Today's technological advances are great, but with that we become addicted, too focused on ourselves, and lose our humanity to one another. I think this piece communicated an excellent message to what has happened to us?
It would be fun to see an explanation on what happened to people. Maybe create a character and have him or her undergo an evolution like this. But you could communicate the message from this piece and apply this into a character or story, I think that would be fun. I also think it would be nice to see an interaction on both sides. What if one person from the old times interacted with a person from today, what would that look like? What could they learn off from one another? And how could they fix each other problems? There is definitely a shift between generations and I think it would be fun to explore the merits of each one and applying it in the present in a story form. Also, even though it may seem impossible, what are some of the little things people can do to stop this addiction?
This was a great, thought-provoking story that told a greater story about humanity and its evolution from generation to generation. This piece spoke to me because of its remembrance of a much simpler time to today's climate. Bringing together an underrated problem in the present. Thanks for this writing, I hope to read more like this in the future!