jengelman

Australia

this is the turning point

square one

March 10, 2019

FREE WRITING

3
i find myself wandering back to square one.
its not like i am afraid anymore.
how else can they try to test me?
 
but my words are manipulating,
and we both know this. 
sometimes i think it would be better if
i tied my mouth shut,
left myself hanging at wentworth street.
 
you could never silence,
trust me i’ve tried.
i am every piece of debris,
darling look at your knees.
 
but this toxicity enthrals me,
where my wounds are women and
you are my salvation.
armrests as my heaven.
i have come up with 1000 endings that end this way.
 
you tell me that language is coding,
and you then you leave.
perhaps i am wrong,
but i still find myself becoming the things i never said.
i am being that man i never once was.
 
but language is a necessity.
like lust in the evening.
and i am lonely now.
make it the reason i breathe. 

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