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Message to Readers

attempting revision because writer's block is s t u p i d
and i realized that galaxies don't have oxygen

feedback appreciated?

paper birds

March 20, 2019


you beg for birds to lock in cages
and tattered smiles to shut away
but i hand you paper doves to
crack into the hard hydrogen of
glowing galaxies, here one second
disappearing the next: you’ll find there’s
no such thing as time.
and watch them fade carefully
watch the fog drape over
their folded whitewashed arms
a thin bark branch sliced clean from
prickling grasslands, grinding and deforested
a severed reminder, a lovely blank face
still shriveled from sunshine.
just watch what you've set free
because someday i’ll be a little paper bird
and god, i'll love the night sky––
i'll be dead and alive and
living in between the stars
kissed by the constellations
those grinning galaxies
someday i’ll be a paper bird, and i’ll be free.


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  • korra4life

    All I have to say is that I wish for an ounce of this talent. I have no idea how you're able to write so easily and free-flowing. It takes so much skill, and I really hope that you fulfill your dreams in the future, even if it has nothing to do with writing.
    You are talented and you have every right to use that talent exactly as you see fit. You have your own unique style and I love it.
    My only thing would be to continue to mention different types of birds. You used a dove in the first part, so continue using different birds like a heron or a crow. They all are birds, but it gets rid of the repetitiveness. And it's not a big deal, I kind of like it just the way it is.

    over 2 years ago
  • Oscar_Locke

    My only piece of advice is continue to be amazing.

    over 2 years ago
  • paperbird


    over 2 years ago
  • Blotted

    I like the change of perspective from start to the finish.
    I really like the style you choose to write in now, and every piece seems right.

    over 2 years ago