Peer Review by inkyscribbles (United States)

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the warrior's grave

By: Christy Wisdom


FREE WRITING


the mound looks so desolate
here upon this hill
a warrior's final resting place,
a sword and shield
engraved upon the stone 

i can't help but wish
they had honored him
only 
in name

my brother would've wanted that.

 it makes me sad
to see that even
death
cannot part him
from his sword and shield

they will remember him by
the weapons
he so wished
to put
down 

not by his gentleness
nor his loving words

all they will see
is the
memory
of a brave fighter

though all he really 
wanted
was to rest, and to
stop the war
to be at peace

but even in death-
it somehow seems cruel-
he will never be allowed
to throw away the sword

they didn't place a single
flower
upon his grave
he always loved crocuses
i should plant some for him.

here upon this hill
sitting next to the mound
where my brother sleeps
at last

i play his favorite song
on my flute
weeping quiet tears, and
watching as the 
magnolia petals
fall all around me

yes, this is what he would've wanted
no coat of arms, no
remnant of war
upon his gravestone

just his sister
remembering him
as he was-

his mannerisms and playful
jokes,
his sparkling eyes and 
loving hugs-

and
not
by how he fought.
 


Peer Review

I love the way you pointed out that he was buried with a sword and shield above him. The love and understanding that the sister shows is really touching and moving.


Maybe just maybe hint on what he did as a warrior. But even then sometimes its best to keep somethings a secret and let them wonder.


Reviewer Comments

I think that it was important that you mentioned that he wanted to stop the war. That itself tells you so much more about the brother and who he really was as a person.