Peer Review by inkyscribbles (United States)

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Phenomenal Woman

By: clos


A woman for all to look up to all through the land. This person is someone who means a great deal to me. Her story and drive is something I will always admire. And her willingness to explore the unknown and advocate for peace resonate in my heart.

Here's her story:
 
           The young woman was top of her class. Always pushing new boundaries and heights. She was born in Venezuela, a country filled with a vibrant culture, which she will implant into her heart and later pass onto her children. In order to pursue education, she and her husband flew into the ‘land of the free, home of the brave.’ In America, the two dedicated themselves to become an engineer, to push humanity forward to new heights. She spent countless nights studying and learning to make enough money to better her family’s life. Years later and she accomplished her goal. Years of trial and error lead her to accomplish her dream. Fostering a family of two boys and still working hard to this day. And for that I am eternally grateful. Her loving care and compassion lead me to become the type of person I am today. She empowers me to become the best version of myself. She is like the cool, fierce wind you receive on a smoldering, summer day. She is the breath of air I receive after a long day. She is my mom. And she’s one of the most phenomenal woman I know in my life.   


Peer Review

I love your mother's story. It really shows how brave she is and strong! I love how she spent "countless nights studying and learning to make enough money to better her family's life," so moving and inspiration for women around the world.


I always like the pieces I read to be full of imagery maybe describe what your mother looks like. Your piece really lets the reader know who your mother is personality wise which is the most important but to add that physical imagery might push your writing to the next level.


Reviewer Comments

Keep up the good work you have a beautiful writing voice!