You never know how alone you are
until you're in your room one night,
everyone else is out with their friends,
your friends are with each other.
you're too afraid to talk to people,
to be their friend,
you're too afraid to get close to anyone,
to be broken again.
In that loneliness you yearn for another's touch,
you yearn for another's voice,
you yearn for another's existence.
You yearn for another half of yourself.
Being this alone,
you don't want a mother, you've always had her
You don't want a father, you've always had him
you don't want your siblings, you've always had them
you don't want your friends, you've always known they're temporary.
In this loneliness I feel
all I want is my other half,
the person you loves me for me,
the person who will always hold me, always be my friend.
This loneliness gives me time to see everything,
to see my fiends and their happiness, their other halves,
to see my family and their happiness, their forever friends,
to see myself and my nothing, my hate for all my flaws.
In my loneliness,
I see that I'll never have the happiness they have,
maybe that's why I hate them so much,
maybe that's why it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning,
because I know no one waiting for me can fill this emptiness in my existence.
I'm sorry. I just needed to let this out. I'm home alone because everyone else is with their friends and I'm sitting here reflecting on the meaning of love, hate, and life (I suspect they are all the same).
The mood heavy manifested was quite a shock.
How long have you felt this lonely?
I hope things get better. I really love this piece!