Peer Review by casamiento (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Angry

By: BluMoon


FREE WRITING

I am angry with the men who think they're always right. 
I am angry with the women who judge and sneer and whisper out of spite. 

I am angry with the boys who think sports make them a man. 
I am angry with the girls who hurt each other because they can. 

I am angry with the people who pretend it's not their problem. 
I am angry with the system that keeps the poor on the bottom. 

I am angry with the parties teaching children to fill themselves with sex and smoke. 
I am angry with the televisions and their impossibly perfect joke. 

I am angry with the intolerants teaching hate instead of love. 
I am angry with the priests claiming their hate is from above. 

I am angry with the wars and the death that they bring. 
I am angry with the chaos that we claim is not our doing. 

I am angry with the weapons and the oceans they fill with blood. 
I am angry with the religions being dragged through the mud. 

I am angry with the fear of innocent mothers for their children. 
I am angry with the homes destroyed by the million.

I am angry with the starvation when there's plenty to go around. 
I am sad. 
Because my words do not make a sound. 

Why are you angry? 

Peer Review

Line 17, stanza u: I am angry with the homes destroyed by the million. I find it so relatable because I see the poor and homeless on the streets when there are houses right next door that are in good shape and in need of a dweller.


Anger and sadness. This got me riled up and inspired. You know it's good writing when you feel something.


What are you happy about? From what I've learned, anger cannot exist without happiness. What about the world makes you happy and excited?


Reviewer Comments

The rhyming is wonderful, and the message is clear. However, I think you could elaborate more on why these things make you angry, though most of it is self explanatory, if you elaborated I think you piece could be even more emotional.