Peer Review by Writers of the World (United States)

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rose petal wishes, i kiss them softly and hope your dreams are soft and sweet | #bigcolor #ghostlycontest

By: Anha


FREE WRITING

meine Liebe, du erinnerst mich an schönheit und blassrosa rosen

    i want to remember this phrase so that i can whisper it to you under the cotton-candy sunsets while you rest your head on my shoulders as we laze on your valencian beaches, or in our italian cottage as we sip honey drinks with petals floating in them. i want to remember this phrase so that i can mumble it under my breath as i thread geraniums into your crown of braids, you're quiet and still, and i don't know if you can hear me, but just this closeness is enough to make my heart melt into songs that you keep in your feel-good playlists - they play in my head as i breathe you in, the flowers suddenly became so much beautiful when you pointed them out to me.

    Schlaf gut und träume in der sanften Umarmung dieser rosa Wolken

    rose petal baths can't compare to the comfort you give me, your palms are as soft as pink camellias and the lingering touches you give me are like an emotional aphrodisiac - i can't get enough of this feeling. my head feels like it's stuck in those cotton-candy clouds, this is a dream and i never want to wake up from you. orchids flourish in every corner of your room - you love life and la pachamama smiles on you so fondly that i can't help but think you're her favourite by far. tulip-printed skirts and hyacinths in your front garden, cherry blossom hairpins and the carnation you slipped behind my ear when i closed my eyes for a moment - it's all blush and gentle gazes when i'm with you.

    Ihr Lächeln erfüllt mich mit Liebe und Anbetung für alles, was uns zusammengebracht hat

Menschen, die Blumen lieben, 
können nicht schlecht sein, 
sagt man.

    Mein Engel, meine Liebe, Göttin meiner Träume und all das, was gut und rein ist


ich liebe dich

if you google translate the german, it should translate to the rough meaning.

check out ​Big Blue's contest here

Message to Readers

oof writer's block can't stop the gay

edit: no time to write, as much as ghostlyglory is an inspiration to me, assessments are coming up but i still want to enter. pls accept this sapphic poem, it kind of incorporates both prompts?


Peer Review

I'm surprised about the use of another language, and I love it! Your use of German makes this piece special, unique, and adds to the piece beautifully. I love how strong and powerful this is, pulling at emotions a reader can't help but address. My favorite part about it all is how you start off strong with the title, hinting how sentimental this piece will be. After translating all the lines, I better understand this piece and think it fits perfectly with what you've written. In addition, sometimes you don't even know what someone's saying in another language because it sounds so beautiful. I couldn't hear it being spoken, but reading it all together it looks gorgeous and part of me didn't want to translate it. But curiosity won!


When you say, translate to the 'rough' meaning, are you saying there's a better one you want to go by? I think you should add that somewhere, like in the footnotes or something, about the real translations you want to express.


Reviewer Comments

Love this piece!