-animal lover-
-wild one-

Message to Readers

Just general feedback on the story, and layout? Also any critiquing about how it could flow more? Thanks for reading.

Snowy Freedom

February 27, 2019


I trudged through the snow, an icy wind beating down on my shoulders. Every step left me knee deep in white slush. The night was dark, and I could barely see the world in front of me. My load was heavy, straining me, weakening me, with every blast of snowy wind. And still I walked on. I’d walked for hours. On and on, through this miserable mountain pass. When I stumbled again, the company pulled away from the invisible path. They walked a little further, before coming to face a gaping hole in the stone. A cave.
They had lit a fire, now it flickered and crackled, eating up the damp wood, eating up the cold darkness of the cave. I stood at the entrance, tail twitching. This was dangerous, and I stamped my hooves. Their dog lay nearby, eyes dancing back and forth, watching for danger in the night. Black with piercing blue eyes, alike to the wolves that we’d heard howling earlier on the journey. Thunder exploded outside, sending echoes bouncing off the cave walls, yet the men failed to notice, nor care. Lightning split the sky overhead, announcing the beginning of a torrential blizzard. Through the falling snow, I could just make out the path we would take tomorrow. Already the snow was covering the trail and I knew that by morning, it would disappear under the icy white. These men were foolish. They should have marked the path somehow, lest they find themselves lost with no direction to head. When morning came, they would spend hours wandering around hoping they would come across the path, leaving us trekking well into the night. I exhaled deeply and looked to where the moon would be.
When morning arose, the storm had cleared, but the frost crept in. Its chilling fingers had stretched into the cave and silenced the fire, leaving nothing but a pile of charred wood. The company either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care. They packed their load over my back and were soon on the move. They had grown careless, drinking greedily from evil smelling bottles, growing louder and louder. It didn’t take long for something to go wrong. While crossing a crumbling ledge, one of them slipped. He yelped, and the others rushed to grab him, but they were too slow. He flailed wildly, before toppling over, his screams reverberating off the snowy rock face. A rumbling sounded, and the earth began to shake. Panic ensued among the company, and they ran. What looked to be a cloud rolled down the slope, but when it came closer, I realized what I was seeing. The man’s screams had triggered an avalanche.
We fled. I reared up and took off at a gallop. But men, nowhere near as fast as a terrified pack horse and flighty dog, lagged behind. The snow caught up to them and they vanished from sight. Buried in a snowy grave. I ran for higher ground, and the dog caught up. From the rocky outcrop, we could see what remained of the mountain valley. Nothing visible except snow, except… in the distance I saw two tiny figures heading our way. Two men had survived.
Once he recovered his breath, the dog turned and left into the coming night. He didn’t look back. I realized that I could do the same. Spring would come soon, and if I crossed the valley safely, I could live in the wild. I’d easily find a herd and be able to leave these mountains behind. I would never see them again. That decided it. I trotted away from the rocks, then I ran, ran to my freedom, and left the men in their fight with nature.


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  • February 27, 2019 - 9:33pm (Now Viewing)

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