0: I jolt from the state of normalcy, as a thrill pressurizes in my body like the overwhelming feelings of an adolescent discovering masturbation; these pressures feel rewarding to an unbearable point. Once the thrill has its fill I become too normal; the subsequent surge of confidence evoking my fantastic ability to flirt with Kate Upton in a vivid Italian mansion or a Spainish Cabana overlooking the sea. Beginning to fall off the edge, I plunge towards the depth of cerulean waters whilst the surrounding rocks applaud my outrageously calm decision as the riptide carries me to my destiny.
1: Being lead through the clear waters, I am accosted by the mermaid queen. When she smiles at me, every cell in my body wants to cry out, but I sustain myself as we continue our beautiful conversation. She tells me her name is Marsha and I should persist at everything I do in life and respectively never waste a moment in doing this task since I am awaiting an army of harp players to sing holistic melodies regarding my glory. "The ocean is a deep and interesting place, but you my friend are destined for unimaginable greatness."
2: To be real I was not expecting to see myself triumph over the problems I encountered on my journey through life. I just ended up achieving something unintentionally. I was obedient and followed the patterns in the sky for guidance due to my harsh self-reflection, comprised of impetuous and unacceptable aspects of a child. If I constantly involved myself in comparing myself to others, I would have induced my own depression. Rather, I put all my lasting faith into aerial signs to forgo the choice to throw myself into the world of pain. After all, spring is coming and it deserves to be a plateau unlike the harsh and rugged mountain that is winter. Don't say I'm self-centered, say that I am currently finding the strategies that allow me to be at my happiest state. Did I just make a subtle reference to Utilitarianism? I hope not, because I am sure Jeremy would have liked to bend a turkey more so than a pig. Since Turkeys are much wiser in comparison to pigs, having sex with them would give way to a smarter organism thus resembling a more rewarding experience. It is safe to say I am free as a bird, even though I might be a fish. Wait a second, am I a fish? This rather linear sight of mine prevents me from viewing my own body, nonetheless that fact within itself may suggest I am such. Screw mermaids. I am gonna have to live this incarnation out for myself then.
3: I swam about incessantly wondering how I was supposed to get out of this mess I was in, so I prayed. I prayed hard for my family, that their life as humans was running smoothly. The god of the sea then granted me the power to rise out of the situation, and I could not be more thankful. That damn catfish was pretty pissed he couldn't get a meal out of me, boy was I pleased as the heavens! I settled back on dry land, remembering all those who doubted my abilities, remembering all the times I had proved the world to the unbelieving humans. God saved me from my suffering, so there is proof that he prizes me beyond all the others. I continue this awkquard journey, open to all the things that can happen to me.
4: Soon enough, my life lacked excitement. Everyone around me acted like an enigma, what is the obvious result? I feel locked up in my own world, fighting for something in which I do not know I am fighting for. Mixed messages never help with understanding someone's intentions. The viscious cycle acts off my need to escape and its consequence on authority. Authority's response leads me to shutter in ignominy, hence raising my need for escaping, and so on and so forth. Settling with my modest turtle wife Karen was the last good decision I made; the rest was a 287-year struggle until I reached my harp-filled haven.
5: My life cannot become much more grandiose than it is with God, harps and Karen.