Peer Review by Angelina Nguyen (Australia)

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And There They Go Again. Children or Heroes?

By: PouringOutTheSun


FREE WRITING

His fingers were slack, two hands that had given up, attached to a body that didn’t know what it was doing anymore.

And her hair was the colour of the rainwater you hear about in hopeful poems 

And his lips, they gushed red, first with his words, second with a smirk and finally with the blood he found himself choking on.

And oh, he looked as if he stood nearly alone, in a forest that had burned down around him, who reached out to the screaming nature as she fell.

And beside him was a girl with a heart like flames licking up a rose and toes curling in ashes like she’d finally be pleased.


Message to Readers

So I was reading and realised the extent of how limited my talent is in writing. That made me frustrated so I decided to write, to, you know, get better and I got this


Peer Review

I was surprised by how the piece ended without a resolution to the narrative, but it felt resolved enough for me to be satisfied. While it provoked many questions, it also delighted me in how engaging it was. You capture this moment with attention to detail and flair, something that I really admire about this piece.


The ambiguity of this piece is what makes it so intriguing. That being said, I would love more characterisation and details to immerse myself in the characters even more. You illustrate them quite poetically and it would be interesting to see you extend their descriptions even further. I am also interested in what the meaning behind the title is. That captivated me at first and I would love to know what it means to you as the writer yourself.


Reviewer Comments

As for your Message, I believe that writing is perhaps one of the best ways to take out my own frustrations, as much as it is to improve. Good on you for being proactive with your writing and channelling it meaningfully on Write the World! I look forward to reading more of your works and seeing you on the site with many great pieces to come. Happy writing!