our conversations have been recorded. they have been written down and marked and crossed through with screaming red pen. i will be swooped on like swarming wasps to spilled sugar. i will be eaten alive. you must promise to keep me safe from them. you must promise i will be okay.
blank sky, i think you are the only one that understands me, you with your emptiness and your lack of entity. you with your endless creations and your nothing.
somedays i spill my own blood to be nothing but on other days i think i must have been made to be everything. to be you, blank sky, to one day contain every whispered confession of lonely girls on weeknights and the howls of wolves and the mystery of god and when things get to be too much i will release tears in the form of rain and the people will drink it. i would like to sustain life itself. i would like to be more than human.
i hope you understand that i am so confused. that everything terrifies me and what scares me most of all is that one day i will no longer be afraid. i hope you understand that i am trying my best but the world doesn't think that i am enough. i hope you don't try and tell me i am enough but instead tell me you feel the same way. i hope in a billion years i will become a star and fill up a blank space and i hope you will know me then.