Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Your imagery I think is your greatest strength in this piece.
A listening kind-of voice. Peaceful. Open. They made it not about the character, but about many, MANY characters, and yet you still left the window not all the way open, letting a wonderful breeze in.
The magical, fleeting beauty in this piece is ravishing. The language used really made the story come alive.
This is an ice cream-licking, eye-tearing piece. The imagination you poured into your story really set it on fire! I love how you made everything so real, like you could feel that breeze, hear that sound, and smell that aroma.