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Spray paint, autumn leaves, and some form of velvet
Casually broken, but it's fine

Message to Readers


Him | #ForgivenessFGE

March 1, 2019


I try so hard
Oh, so hard
To give you the forgiveness
Some others think you deserve

But I just don't think I can.

You see,
After everything you've said
Everything you've done
I just don't think I can.

Miss Switzerland wants me to move on.
She says that I will feel better
If I just forgive you for what you have done
And go along with the rest of my life.

But not the others.
Not Sami
or Alysa
or Brianna
or Ryley
or Lily
or Emma
or Aaliyah
or Dylan
or even Caden.

Nobody wants me to forgive you,
Except her.
(Well, So does Zach,
But what does he know?)
I don't even know why.
She told me to give up on Zach, 
Then I had a brief chance.
She encouraged me with Mystery Guy,
Then I had absolutely no chance.

But then I decided to forgive you
For what you did to me.

I sent you that text
(On SnapChat, from Brianna's phone)
Explaining why I ended things.
Trying to tell you that you had insecurities,
And problems you really needed to work on,
And I needed to focus on my own
Before I could really take on someone else's.

I told you that I don't expect to completely forget
And I told you that you shouldn't expect me to
The next day when Brianna and Sami came over to my locker
We explained to Sami what had gone down the day before
And I asked B if you had responded, what you had said.
You left me on "read"

We saw each other that next day,
After you had finally read it,
And you treated me like things were before we dated,
Before we really knew each other too well,
Before you started really liking me,
Before it all started.

One of the reasons that I had trouble forgiving you, though,
Was because I was scared that I would fall for you all over again.
I still majorly have that fear.
You are happy with your Lizzy
(Even though I ship you hardcore with Keaghan)
And are completely content, 
But I have no one!

I am lonely,
And I fear that the loneliness will cause me to be drawn back to you.
Yes, I realize that is a really slim possibility,
After all that has happened between us,
But stranger things have happened in our crossed worlds.

Here is my example for my competition, found here!
SO! Kind of a funny story here. I had originally started coming up with the guidelines and everything for the competition a few weeks ago, so I wrote up until "Then I had absolutely no chance." And breakdown happened and I just forgot. I was going to continue it, but not in the way that I forgave him. And yes, this did actually happen
* Please note that I was attempting to be as over-dramatic as possible that I can express in writing with the line that reads " You left me on 'read' "
** "Next day" in the 9th stanza meaning today, February 15th
*** Was not trying to include a "Stranger Things" reference when I started, but turns out that's how I ended. This whole piece is kinda... UPSIDE DOWN!!!!
"Him" (Original)
"Him" (Genre Change-up)
"Him" (ICBY Poetry for AminahMcBina)


See History
  • March 1, 2019 - 7:53am (Now Viewing)

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  • The Bubbling Pen

    Not upside down :) this is an amazing piece that really reveals your emotions and passion. I'm awed that you had the humility and courage to forgive him <3

    over 1 year ago
  • AntChanel

    also, loving the Choni gif-yes, I watch Riverdale, because..uh, Jughead is hawt as fudge.

    over 1 year ago
  • AminahMcBina

    Gahhhhhh you irritate me!!!! 'I' shouldn't have gotten mad. Done. Don't bring it up again, or else I'll...Idk what I'll do, but don't bring it up again! Annnddd, your email doesn't fucking work. I sent you like a thousand msgs, and none of em send!

    over 1 year ago
  • AntChanel

    hey, you're back.

    over 1 year ago
  • AminahMcBina

    You're brave, Caitlin. And you aren't alone. You got me :) And I'm always here for you. ALWAYS. And you forgave "Him" which means you're taking steps to moving on. Alysa! Ryley! Aaliyah! I sound like a fan girl XDXDXD

    Annnddddd don't worry. I shouldn't have gotten mad, I mean you're going through shit, I should understand. Love you <3

    over 1 year ago
  • f l o r a

    aww, how...oddly romantic? I know that breakups and letting go of people can be difficult. I get it. Remember Ant? Well, he wasn't..a good person.
    Toodles, Liza aka Izzi

    over 1 year ago