Xavier Nelson

United States of America

Message to Readers

I weigh 241 lbs and gain weight whenever I look at food.

Dear Body: Love, Xavier

February 14, 2019

PROMPT: Love in Words

14
I have abused you.
There.
I'll admit it.

The way chairs cry out in pain when I sit is anything but pleasant
And let's not forget about "the incident" earlier this year during our grade-wide retreat
I was never able to wash the shame off my pants
After countless times through the washer, I still couldn't bring myself to touch them
Washing off the dirt only revealed their mocking faces
Fingers pointed in my direction as their eyes lit up with laughter
Now I find it hard to hold eye contact.

I hate you.
The way you pull my shirt up to get some fresh air when I sit down
Inflating faster than balloons children beg and cry for at carnivals.

Trust me.
Gaining thirty pounds since the beginning of the school year ain't easy
I'm not able to get a job because I've been working on that for so long
Watching as it slowly became harder to run
How after a couple minutes, I'd be so out of breath that people believed I had asthma
I laughed when my grandmother had trouble walking
Now, I stop in gear of the stairs before me 
Dreading the grueling fire that'll start in my lungs after a couple of steps.

You must hate me.
For shoving food down my throat until you were about to burst.
For making bacon cheeseburgers and oreo milkshakes a part of my diet.
For eating fifteen cookies during lunch so I'd puke and be forced to skip PE.
 
I want to love you.
I just don't know how.
I've abused you for so long that it's all I know.
I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

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  • February 14, 2019 - 7:43pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • The Bubbling Pen

    Your writing style is amazing and I just want to read more! My heart really goes out to you and I hope that you will be grow to love and be happy with your body <3


    9 months ago
  • spearmint

    Really nice piece, and you're fine just how you are, no need to change. Also, you write ridiculously well.


    10 months ago
  • green.eyes.gurl

    haha, of course you can use this! you can use whatever piece you want, previously written or new!


    10 months ago
  • green.eyes.gurl

    thank you for sharing this. i hope you are okay, and just know that you are perfect the way you are.


    10 months ago
  • Johanna

    Hope you're okay...


    10 months ago
  • Ursa

    dude.... you write really well. Take care of your body. You only have one.


    10 months ago
  • CuriosityKilledTheCat

    I hope everything works out okay!! <333


    10 months ago