The way chairs cry out in pain when I sit is anything but pleasant
And let's not forget about "the incident" earlier this year during our grade-wide retreat
I was never able to wash the shame off my pants
After countless times through the washer, I still couldn't bring myself to touch them
Washing off the dirt only revealed their mocking faces
Fingers pointed in my direction as their eyes lit up with laughter
Now I find it hard to hold eye contact.
I hate you.
The way you pull my shirt up to get some fresh air when I sit down
Inflating faster than balloons children beg and cry for at carnivals.
Gaining thirty pounds since the beginning of the school year ain't easy
I'm not able to get a job because I've been working on that for so long
Watching as it slowly became harder to run
How after a couple minutes, I'd be so out of breath that people believed I had asthma
I laughed when my grandmother had trouble walking
Now, I stop in gear of the stairs before me
Dreading the grueling fire that'll start in my lungs after a couple of steps.
You must hate me.
For shoving food down my throat until you were about to burst.
For making bacon cheeseburgers and oreo milkshakes a part of my diet.
For eating fifteen cookies during lunch so I'd puke and be forced to skip PE.
I want to love you.
I just don't know how.
I've abused you for so long that it's all I know.