Peer Review by loveletterstosappho (United States of America)()

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Everything But Noise

By: bride124


Nobody moves. Crickets echo their song for everyone to hear.
But no one listens.
Here in the Silent Empire, silence is encouraged and yet somehow enforced. No one willing to strive for the freedom to utter a word, release a body spasm, not a sound. Dare devils beware!-but still no attempts. Around for approximately a thousand years, ones venturing for a area to liberate their inner tranquility without noise cannot find the remote city, lost to others of the human race. Everything in government, society, etc is fragile due to this one evident rule.
Everyone aware of this custom as canonical behave like today is the most typical day when a shatter of normalcy occurred abruptly:
Achoo!


Message to Readers

I thought about a cool idea of a semi-functional city and this is the product. Enjoy!


Peer Review

"No one willing to strive for the freedom to utter a word" is an amazing phrase. I think it really captures the stillness and almost hazily dull mood of the city- and although the city seems to be somewhat dull and dreary, asleep in silence, the descriptions certainly aren't.


I would describe it as dull, tired, and passive, due to the fact that no one tries to make a noise. no one really rebels, and without sound, life would be terribly dull. it actually sort of reminds me of one of the places (i don't remember the name) in the phantom tollbooth (it's a really good book- i read it in third grade, but i still love it even now that i'm older)- a combination of two places in the book, actually. there's one place where the city vanished because the people only walked with their heads down and not admiring their surroundings to get places faster, and another where sound has been forbidden. the place w/out sound is pretty rebellious, just silently so (since all the sound has been trapped in the queen's castle and they have none), but the dull, almost lifeless abyss of the vanished city reminds me of how i imagine this city.


i would love to know what it looks like! while the silence is obviously the most important part, it would still be interesting to have some descriptions of it's appearance.


Reviewer Comments

i love the concept here! it's very creative and i especially love the ending, which adds some humor to an otherwise relatively serious piece. well done!