Peer Review by Quille (United States)

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how to love me

By: justmar


PROMPT: Love in Words

I don't want you to love me because I'm good for you, because I do or say all the right things. I want you to love me because I keep you on edge, I do things that no one should do, and I force you to make mistakes. 

I don't want you to love me because I keep you grounded, I want you to love me because I make you feel like flying. 

I don't want you to love me because I'm all you ever wanted, the person you spent your whole life looking for. I want you to love me because I came into your life unexpectedly, out of nowhere. Because I take your breath away,

I don't want you to love me because I'm the water you've spent your life depending on, I want you to love me because I'm the tea that gives you a feeling of weightlessness, a warm sensation deep in your belly, and an unexpainable satisfaction coursing through your veins. 

I don't want you to love me because I represent everything you thought thought love would be, I want you to love me because I make you question every single thing that you've ever believed about love. 

I don't want you to love me because I feel like a cozy home, I want you to love me because I make you feel dangerous, reckless, and inexplicably out of control. 

I don't want you to love me because I make your dreams come true, I want you to love me because I enable you to do things you never thought possible.

I don't want to be the one tucked into bed with you at night, I want to be the reason you can't ever fall asleep.

I don't want you to love me because you want me, I want you to love me because you need me. 


Peer Review

Quick note: there's a typo in this question 'felling' rather than 'feeling ;).
This piece actually feels a little bit more like an essay than a letter, which could be easily fixed by adding a salutation. It's personalized by addressing it to a specific person, but at the same time left more open-ended than a traditional letter. I like how you balanced those things very well :DD
In conclusion, this piece has a very unique and pleasantly personalized tone while weaving gorgeous poetry into its every sentence :D


As mentioned in the answer to the previous question, this lacks a salutation--which I don't find necessary for this particular piece since it seems more like a prose poem--but if you want to make it a more authentic letter, I would suggest adding one.


Reviewer Comments

Wow!!! :DD A ton of beautiful language and concepts here; I love how you expressed feelings through comparisons of totally different scenarios. It really added an elegant, intensely feeling quality to this piece :) I enjoyed it very much and definitely will be here to encourage you to keep writing :DDDD *thumbs up/high five* :D