Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Enjoy!!!!! I had so much fun writing this! Also ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW-CLOUD. ALL HAIL. (read the author's note lmao)
The humour, the uniqueness, the anecdote at the end. This was a brilliantly written piece, which had a simply wonderful idea behind it. I like how you describe giving one's heart to another person as literally ripping it off one's chest. I also like how you've incorporated different kinds of police officers, like the Sheriff's Secret Police.
You could have tried to make this piece less messier, especially in the third (major) paragraph. Except that, everything was great.
I'm running a bit behind schedule, but I promise I'll submit the remaining two reviews by the end of this month.