Abbi pencil 2


United States

"Serve the Lord with gladness; come before his presence singing."
Psalm 100:2

18yo Christian Fantasy writer.

Profile pic is my own artwork

Message to Readers

This piece is extremely important to me; more than most of my other pieces on here. I am desperately seeking feedback and will return the favor for you if you provide me with some.
It's the end to a story I've been working on for a while. I probably won't publish anymore of it for the time being.

An Ending

February 12, 2019


         I didn’t feel anything but a lump in my throat as a pale light passed from Anson's hand to mine.
         His wife fought her tears no longer, kissing a corpse as the sun sank below the horizon with rosy light playing through shadows before the the mountains swallowed it.
         I didn’t see how it could ever rise again. 

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

  • Quille

    Thank you so much!! :DDD

    8 months ago
  • Aldrich

    I just finished reviewing. My peer review for this is probably the longest I've made since I entered WtW (as if I've been here for so long haha). But, yeah, I just wanna let you know that this piece is beautiful. It confused me a little. And, I am sad for the characters. Well done!

    8 months ago
  • Quille

    Thank you!!!! :DDD This is the end to one of my books, so I'm really glad if it's a good one :DD

    8 months ago
  • .audrey michelle.

    HOLY FLIP!!!

    this was so beautiful! i absolutely loved how you switched from the main character to a narrator back to the main character! the last words made me wanna cry, they were so beautiful and captivating :D the simple sentences really bring a feel :D a simple ending, executed with beautiful writing skills! i can't say how much i absolutely love this ending :DDDDDDDD

    and yes...

    holy flip!

    this was beautiful!!!

    8 months ago
  • spearmint

    Love the POV bounce. This was just so powerful and beautiful and... I don't know, but I really liked it.

    8 months ago
  • Quille

    Sorry about that; there's three people in the scene, Anson, his wife, and I. I's there best friend.
    The rest of the story definitely makes it less confusing, but I didn't plan on putting any more up here :S
    Thank you very much for the comment though :DDD

    8 months ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    Ooh, very interesting. Only thing is, though, is that the perspective changing is a bit confusing. I initially guessed that the character (first person one) is also his wife, and it switches perspective from first to third, but now I'm not quite sure. I'm sure I'd be able to understand it better if I saw the rest of the story. Still, though, this is very good and very intriguing. The last sentence is particularly strong.

    8 months ago
  • Pi_Pen

    Wow, this is actually a very powerful and beautiful piece. I don't know if perhaps I'm missing some context of the story (I not Paperbird below mentioned an imporvement?), but that does not make the piece any less splendid.

    8 months ago
  • Quille

    Thank you :)

    8 months ago
  • paperbird

    an improvement. thanks for considering my feedback! you’re a great writer.

    8 months ago