Doktor Habit

United States


COMPLETELY moved to the prose under the same username, this site is a trash fire

Message to Readers

i decided this is gonna steer more towards the good route bc bein mean makes me feel bad (i WILL write the evil end out eventually tho)
this should be interesting considering jack already accepted davetrap's offer, but is starting to think "uhh shit"
"all the world will be your enemy, prince of a thousand enemies. and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. but first, they must catch you. digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning-- be cunning, and full of tricks, and your people will never be destroyed." - richard adams, watership down

Flynn Rewrites A DSAF 3 Scene Because He Needs To Practice Scene Writing (3/?)

February 25, 2019


fandom content: dayshift at freddy's (3, specifically)
spoilers?: yup
tw: swearing, death mentioned/implied, His name gets said for the first time
take a shot every time dave says old sport or some variation of it
tiny note in the message to readers for y'all B)

p1  -  p2

    Jack unlocked his house's door, the quiet 'click' of the key being drowned out by the skies pouring out its guts. It felt like it'd been raining for days, now. He stepped inside, closed the door behind him, and sat down against the wall. He patted his pockets--out of cigarettes, he thought bitterly. Once again, the feeling of not being welcome in the house filled Jack with a sense of foreboding. He tried to swallow down those thoughts--he had work to do. Standing up to his full height, he began to head upstairs, not hesitating to look out the window to see if he was being watched as he usually did. He already knew who was there.
    Upstairs were three doors--one of which he always kept locked. The first door upon entering was the one he never opened. He hesitated by it, gently placing a hand on the old wood, staining his fingers with dust. The room used to be his brother's--Peter. He wished he'd remembered to bring a vase of flowers like he'd promised himself to do.
    "Next time, old friend," he muttered wistfully. 
    The next door was his room, but he didn't enter it until much later that night. He walked right past the door, instead opening the final one at the very end--his workshop. His workshop contained much of what you'd expect to be in one; tools, scrap metal, handbooks, objects--but what was the spotlight of the room was the old arcade machine near the wall; the entrance to the Flipside. He was told the only reason he was able to enter it at all was that he lacked a soul--he'd lost that long ago. There was nothing to push him back through the glass, nothing to prevent him from entering. Without any more moments of hesitation, he slipped into the Flipside through the arcade screen, feet softly hitting the floor tiles on the other side.
    The inside of the Flipside looked just like an old location where he used to work. The floors were checkered tile, the walls gray, the rooms having the general layout of a Fazbender's (party rooms, kitchen, dining hall, etc.). He reappeared right where he left the last time--the office. Right as he was wondering where they went, he saw just the person he needed to find kicked back on the office desk, staring at the ceiling. Dave. Or--'The Good Dave,' as Jack had now been calling him in his mind. The weaker one. Dave's head tilted slightly, and his eyes landed on Jack. A grin immediately appeared on the purple fellow's face as he hopped down from the desk.
    "Why, hello there, Old Sport! Good t'see you again!" Usually, Jack would be happy to hear Dave's voice, but this time, he felt nothing.
    "Good to see you too, Dave," Jack replied flatly. He decided against bringing up what happened earlier that night up, at least for now. There were better things to do than dwell on what happened, and it seemed as if Dave hadn't been looking through his reality self's eyes--which was good, because if he found out about the two partnering up, it'd become an issue. Dave raised an eyebrow, feeling a slight pang of concern at the lack of emotion in his partner's tone; however, he disregarded it, for now. There were more important things at hand! 
    "Did you remember the favor?" Jack spoke, cutting off Dave's train of thought. Dave nodded, his grin growing a little.
    "Yer damn right I did, Sportsy! So, here's th' thing," he began, starting to pace as he spoke. "There's another spirit we can free jus' a layer down!"
    "..A layer down? What's that mean?"
    "Means exactly what 't says on th' tin, Old Sport! The Flipside is sorta like an onion--" Jack cringed slightly, but Dave didn't notice-- "it has plenty'a layers! I wouldn' go too far down, though.." Jack perked up a little.
    "Oh? Why not?" 
    Dave hesitated, smile fading, fidgeting as he fished for the right words.
    "Well..T'be real with ya..I'm a lil' scared to go more than two layers down. What if you were t'go too deep, an' find y'self trapped..? Who knows what kinda shit's down there? It's fuckin' scary, man!" 
    "Yeah, sure, whatever," Jack replied, obviously not listening to what the other was saying. "So how do we get to the next layer?"
    Dave's goofy smile returned to his face.
    "Through the portal, Old Sport!" Dave stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking as if he'd just said something genius, which he'd never done before in his life. Jack gave him a skeptical look.
    "..What portal?" 
    As if on cue, a portal appeared next to the two. Dave motioned a hand towards it.
    "That portal, Sportsy!~"
    Jack stared blankly at it. He took a deep breath in and a deep breath out.
    "I hate this fucking place, so GODDAMN much."
    Dave couldn't resist breaking out giggling, quickly trying to recompose himself and pointing a hand towards the portal again.
    "A'ight, a'ight--Ladies first, Old Sport!"
    Jack stepped through the portal, jabbing Dave in the shoulder playfully as he passed by him. The other side looked even more painfully familiar--it looked exactly like Fazbender's #51--the one where he sided with a phone guy for the first time. That phone guy happened to be Peter. He pressed his lips together, hands clutching into fists. It was hard not to get angry over the world's treatment of his siblings--over the world's treatment of his family in general. Him and the others' deaths were all caused by one vile human being, and he swore, if he found that man again... He quickly relaxed as Dave entered through the portal behind him. Dave seemed to recognize the place, too--it is where he died, after all. Jack chuckled awkwardly.
    "..Well..this is..." He trailed off.
    "..Familiar?" Dave glanced over to him, a slightly forced smile on his face. Jack nodded.
    "Well.." Jack sighed. "Let's just get moving." He stepped forward, taking the lead in front of Dave. Although he hesitated, Dave soon began to follow. As they wandered, they talked to fill the heavy silence--they looked back on old memories and good times, traded stupid puns and wisecracks, and occasionally mentioned Vegas. While they were talking, Jack suddenly stopped, eyes landing on a metal door on a wall. He walked up to it, knocking on it. Before he could ask what it was, Dave provided an answer.
    "That there's the entrance to th' Prize Corner! Which, coincidentally, is exactly what we're lookin' for! The spirit we're gon' free is in there!" 
    "Okay, so..." Jack looked over to Dave, raising an eyebrow. " do we get in?"
    "Good question! There should be a switch we could press somewhere that would get this bastard t'open! It's prolly' in that room wit' th' ballpit." Jack grunted, moving past Dave and going towards the hallway that would lead to the room in question. He'd memorized the layout of the building, in reality, so he knew his way around in the Flipside. Dave admittedly felt a tad disheartened at Jack's lack of hesitation to run off without him, but he soon tossed that aside and went to tail the other. By the time he'd reached the entrance to the room, he had heard the whirring of the door opening back in the hallway, and Jack began towards the door again. Much to Dave's surprise, Jack had a soft smile on his face.
    "C'mon. You lead the way back. Let's hurry up and free that spirit."
    Dave nodded, and the two headed back through the hallway to the now-open metal door. Dave hesitated for a moment on entering, but Jack simply grabbed his hand and dragged him through. The prize corner was about what one would expect it to be--a wide desk with many shelves behind it full of various prizes; and of course, the sizeable present box that held the Marionette in the old location. Jack had always felt a particular familiarity around that thing, but now any sense of welcome or family he felt around it had faded off. It had a white face with hollow eyes, and purple stripes were stretching from the bottom of its eyes to the top of its mouth. The rest of its body was black, with white lines around its ankles and its wrists. Jack was snapped out of his thoughts by Dave squeezing his hand a bit.
    "Hey. You still wit' me, Old Sport?"
    "Yeah. I'm fine. So, where's the spirit we need to free?"
    "Well," Dave began, shrugging, "I say we wait here for 'bout 10 seconds. Maybe somethin' paranormal will pop up!"
    Five seconds of dead silence ticked by, when out of nowhere, something crawled from the present box; the Marionette. Dave snickered, motioning a hand towards it.
    "Well, whatd'ya know? Somethin' paranormal!"
    "Hush, Dave." Jack seemed transfixed on the entity. He stepped forward slightly. Dave decided to use whatever common sense he had left in him and stay near the door rather than step any closer to the lean creature in front of them. It raised itself up, floating slightly above the ground, its black eyes studying Jack closely. Its eyes widened, and it quickly moved to where it was directly in front of the orange fellow, shifting backward after a few short moments.
    "..Jack?" It spoke at a whisper, and its voice sounded feminine and high-pitched. "Is that...Is that you?" Jack responded in only a solemn nod. The Marionette gasped quietly.
    "Jack...It's been so long."
    Jack slowly looked up, searching for what to say.
    "..Dee..what are you still doing here?" He chuckled awkwardly. "I..I thought you would've passed on by now."
    Dee, the Marionette, smiled softly.
    "Well, if I'd have passed, who would've stuck around to mop up the last of the lost souls? Not that many are here anymore, save for spectral robots that wander around occasionally. This place has been deathly empty." She giggled at her own joke. Jack just smiled a bit.
    "I understand. It's good to see you aga--"
    "Wait, hold on a second, Sportsy!" Dave pushed past Jack suddenly, staring up at Dee in confusion. He glanced back at Jack. "Why are you callin' that thing Dee? Isn't that a..human name..?? For girls? Why on Earth are you callin' it that?!"
    Jack took a deep breath.
    "Dave, this is Dee. She's m--" 
    "Hold on, a second." Dee shoved past Jack, who was honestly getting pretty sick of being pushed around. "I know that voice." She now floated in front of Dave, studying him for a moment..before her expression twisted into a scowl.
    "Is that Dave Miller?! THE KIDDIE STRANGLER?!"
    Dave pointed finger-guns at Dee, grinning.
    "In th' flesh! Or whatever the hell this shit is that's coverin' my body is made out of!"
    Jack swallowed hard. He knew what was coming. Dee flung her head around to look back at him.
    "Jack...Why would you bring him here?!" She shot a cold glare at Jack, moving close to him again. "Is this how you get your sick kicks nowadays?!"
    Jack stumbled for a proper answer, shooting out the first coherent sentence that popped into his brain.
    "He's my FRIEND, Dee!" He took a step forward, causing Dee to move a short ways backward, a bewildered expression on her face. "He's here to help!" 
    Dee moved even further backward, pinching the bridge of her nose, staring with wide, glaring eyes at nothing in particular. 
    "Dave to HELP?! God, you haven't changed at all! Were the bajillion victims you two have already taken not enough?!" She floated a short distance above the two, now going back and forth glaring at both of them. "I'm not an idiot, Jack. Every time you two have become friends, a trail of bodies follows your every step!" 
    Jack cringed slightly, looking to the floor in shame.
    "My god," Dee continued. "I can't let this happen."
    Dave spoke up suddenly, only spiking Jack's anxiety about the situation.
    "Dee, relax! I've learned my lesson and junk!" 
    Dee looked back up, an absolutely hopeless expression on her face. She looked to Jack for some sort of reassurance that he was being serious. All Jack could offer was a shrug. The marionette stared quietly at the two for a moment before sighing.
    "I was hoping that you'd come back to find me again, I really hope you haven't." Gradually, her voice became more angered and grew in volume. "You and your partner there are going to fill this place up with soul after soul, until no child is ever going to be able to sleep again, thinking about the two boogeymen roaming right outside their bedroom window! I'm going to do what I should've done 50 years ago."
    Jack swallowed hard, heart pounding out of his chest, trying to find any way to shut the situation down.
    "Dee..I..I don't want to hurt you. But, if you get physical..we'll have to defend ourselves." 
    Dee only scowled, small white pupils suddenly flaring in the hollow eyes of the marionette. 
    "Well then! Engarde, Jack!"
    She suddenly lunged towards the two, prompting a cry of surprise out of Dave and for both of them to move right the fuck back. Jack looked over to Dave, belting out whatever he could before Dee would attack again.
    "Okay, Dave! Defend yourself, but don't seriously hurt her, okay?!"
    Dave made the mistake of turning his gaze away from Dee to reply, a furious expression across his face.
    "I'm aimin' for this thing's dumb fuckin' noodle limbs!" Almost immediately after he'd finished his sentence, Dee came plowing towards him, knocking the purple fellow over almost effortlessly due to the speed she was going at. Jack took a moment to process what was going on. Dee was slashing wildly at whatever she could, drawing blood occasionally when she wasn't frantically shoved back. She suddenly put her claws together and slammed them towards one of Dave's eyes, prompting a scream out of the man--she barely missed, as Jack had finally came to his fucking senses and kicked her off of him. Dee skidded across the floor briefly, quickly shooting back to her feet. While he still had the time, Jack pulled Dave to his feet, helping him stabilize himself a little before pulling him out of the way of another charge. He looked to his partner in crime, concern apparent in his expression.
    "You gonna be okay?"
    Dave nodded, giving a grin and a thumbs up.
    "Gonna take a lil' more than a puppet bastard to take ME down," Dave replied, bleeding from the chest. Jack grunted quietly, turning his head back towards Dee. She was studying the two quietly, catching her breath a tad. Her glare hardened.
    "YOU CAN'T RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS," she spat, hollow eyes holding a fury nobody had ever known. Jack opened his mouth to speak, only for Dave to talk over him.
    "I intend to do EXACTLY that!" His voice had a somewhat of a taunting tone to it, which was a bad choice, really. Dee growled, growing into an angered cry as she flung herself at the two again. This time, she came barrelling into Jack, knocking the wind from him. Jesus, she's a hard hitter! A sudden, roaring pain erupted in his shoulder, where Dee's claws had begun to dig in. He struggled desperately, both trying to get her off of him and trying his best not to hurt her in the process. Another terrible pain erupted in his arm--chest--there goes another good binder--stomach--Dave had quickly entered the fray, unleashing a war cry and trying to tug Dee backward. She whipped around, giving him a good swipe across the face, causing him to yelp and stumble backwards. Dee used the weapon she had at the moment--Jack--and half-shoved half-threw him in Dave's direction, toppling the two over and leaving them both on the floor. Dave pushed himself into a sitting position, gasping for breath.
    "Fuck, I'll give it to ya, puppet-face...huff...You sure don't go down easy.."
    Dee stepped over, now looming over the two. Jack was sitting up now, arms crossed, almost clinging to himself. Dave shuffled closer to him and put an arm around the other's shoulder in an attempt of comfort.
    "I didn't go down easily the first time, either," Dee growled towards the two, leaning down a bit. Dave tilted his head.
    "Wait..should I have known that?" 
    "Yes! I was one of the first victims that you and Henry abducted! Number #3!"
    Jack jumped a little at the mention of the name. Dave's pupils shrunk, a small gasp escaping him. He shook his head.
    "..Wait..hol' on a second.." He pointed at Dee with his free hand, shaking a tiny bit. "You're the girl. Th-the one Henry took away from.."
    "Oh, so you DO remember?" Dee leaned down so far, she had to start floating to stay sturdy, glaring Dave in the face again. "Well, I can remember quite a bit too, WILLIAM." She leaned in further. Dave began leaning back. 
    "Do you remember what that sadistic FUCK did to me, WILLIAM?! To call my death clean would be to call Fredbear big-boned!"
    "I..I was neva okay with what Henry did, I swear!" Dave's voice was at almost a squeak now, eyes darting about the room frantically. "I--I tried to talk 'em out of it..!!" 
    "I'm no different than any of the other children that you murdered of your own volition, William," Dee growled. "You're evil, no two ways about it. And now, you've corrupted my own flesh and blood!"
    Dave's expression turned from terrified to baffled.
    "W..what? d'ya.." Dave looked to Jack, fear starting to return to his face. "J-Jack..? How did ya know what this..this THING'S name was..?"
    Jack took a minute to speak, still catching his breath.
    "Dave.." He sighed heavily. "She was my sister."


See History

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  • AminahMcBina

    I sooo love these 'rewriting series'!!!!

    about 1 year ago
  • a sprig of pink

    The bolding of “WILLIAM” is my new mood. I might not be part of this fandom, but it’s pretty cool. I’ll read 1 and 2 when I have time

    over 1 year ago
  • elisa

    dude i may not be part of this fandom but this is a dope-ass piece anyway n ur talented as fuck

    over 1 year ago
  • Quille

    Wow! Didn't see that coming! Nice cliffhanger too :DDD

    over 1 year ago