United States

they say let it rain

February 7, 2019


they say let it rain
but i have always done that;
only i would shout when
liquid mountains cascaded upon us
only i would dance when
the ground became a fountain,
the sky tangible air
only i would tip my mouth
and allow water to seep through my lips
into my nostrils, past my lungs
and into the reddish pounding
of my own sickly heart.
they say let it rain
and it's happened so many times
a friend and i used to do jumping jacks
within the pouring depthsā€“ā€“
"i jump and you jack"
so one of us would pump our legs
and the other would clap our hands round the clouds
and never were the beats as clear
as when we worked together
in the rain, in the gray vessel of a misty sky
a throbbing artery that shot grayish water
onto our own laughing faces.
the same friend and i used to write on our legs:
we would draw rainbows
"to express our gay asses"
she had nerve:
she'd deck her fingers in alternating nail polish
or else carve symbols into her wrists
with black pen:
an indigo circle, with both
male and female symbolism protruding
from the inky curves
she once tried to do the same to me
but i screamed to her face
"on my legs;
my parents can't see"
so she scrawled GAYNESS
and shaded it crimson, orange,
sunny, green, azure, then purple
and i would giggle because deep inside
i had nerve, too.
but six hours later, or maybe less
i'd end up sobbing from close encounters:
you nearly rolled up your pants
you nearly showed everyone everything

so i'd shower it off
and again, rain would slip through my nostrils
into my heart
i'd sit there and
rub soap into marker wounds
and the shower would rain down around me,
it would mist up my insides
i'd clap my hands a little, as if to remember
the jumping jacks on rainy afternoons
but the clapping sounded so much better
before i'd rinsed the evidence
before the rainbows had bled past my skin,
into the drainage where
the pools swirled black
as water poured onto my head.
they say let it rain,
but i have.
oh, i have.


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  • February 7, 2019 - 3:50pm (Now Viewing)

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  • loveletterstosappho

    this is so so beautiful, especially "because deep inside/i had nerve, too." and "liquid mountains cascaded upon us" and "and into the reddish pounding/of my own sickly heart." and eVERYTHING

    almost 2 years ago
  • Kenny

    Hnng, love this so much, especially that bit of repetition

    almost 2 years ago
  • Johanna

    Oh this is gorgeous and captivating...
    (I'm really sorry for over using 'oh' and '...')

    almost 2 years ago
  • JadeAndSerpentine

    Wow. This is really cool and pretty!

    almost 2 years ago