left to mere mind am i
for my soul is like an open casket
twenty-thousand mourning necks and
jewelry drawn by cavemen,
bangles preached onto wrists
heavy is midnight upon the limbs;
and i may feel the empty congealing––
listen hard, and you'll hear the silence:
mourners looking o'er my death
crying onto packaged faces
but i have not died, shall never die
for i still hear voices in my bedroom walls
the bewitched a garden, my pillow a rose
i lay down once upon its head;
why do we fear death
when this is all it is?
8 Comments
ghostlyglory
friend! this is incredible! "bangles preached onto wrists " is such a cool way of using words. wow!!!
loveletterstosappho
the word choice is amazing; each word has it's own power and they all work so well together to create a fluid rhythm. sounds amazing read out loud, too.
majestically awkward manatee
Very interesting word choice. I love how diverse this is. To be honest, I didn't get it at all the first time I read it. Made no sense to me. And I think that's the good part. The way it gets tangled in your brain is just amazing. Anyways, great job with this! It's a greatly written piece :)
Araw
You've got awesome talent. This work is beautifully constructed. I especially love how you ended it, with a question that challenges the reader. The most successful works are those that challenge their audiences to think and this does just that. Well done.
Dani A. Remlap
I LOVE THIS
paperbird
thank you!!
Oscar_Locke
My god, this is amazing! Favourite lines: "bangles preached onto wrists / heavy is midnight upon the limbs;". I have no clue how you did it, but you've got words -- like "limbs" -- that fit so perfectly with the poem. Again, amazing!
Quille
Congealing is a really well-used word here :) Beautiful metaphor/message! :DDD