C734f702 5c0f 4b4b 8d07 d90ca52c1f08

asteria

United States

don't settle for the mundane;

chaos is far more intriguing.

Message to Readers

i know this poem is different from my usual style, but i wrote this for homework, and i ended up pretty happy with it.
what do you guys think? constructive criticism welcome :)

fragment

February 2, 2019

FREE WRITING

5
But the Sun sank and grew mad,
And oh! fire and ash tortured
That perfect Paradise, inferno clad!
When the choking smoke finally fled,
I saw grassy knolls on celestial light fed,
Rolling and unfolding round,
Lifting me to the sparks of ice run aground
In that sable soot sky,
Which wailing wept Heaven's ruin, so
I could not but cry.
~asteria

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  • February 2, 2019 - 1:49pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • asteria

    thank you loverofwords2!


    8 months ago
  • loverofwords2

    its a relatively short poem yet it conveys so much emotions. Well done!


    8 months ago
  • asteria

    thank you!! i titled it fragment because i had to write a continuation of an unfinished poem from the 1800s, "Kubla Khan" aka "A Vision in a Dream. A Fragment" - highly recommend you check it out :)


    8 months ago
  • paperbird

    this feels really professional or olden, for some reason. it’s the exclamation points, i think, and the rhyme. i really like this style—it’s one you’re great at. keep writing!!


    8 months ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    This is cool! Seeing as it's called fragment, is there more to the poem? I'm curious now. This is beautiful :) really pretty descriptions.


    8 months ago