Peer Review by Shewrites (Pakistan)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


The Blue Sillohuette (STORY COMING IN APRIL - NATIONAL AUTISM AWARENESS MONTH)

By: SparklingEmbers


FREE WRITING

I fiddle with it. The marble-sized blue puzzle piece my sister gave me years ago. It's attached itself onto the zipper of my backpack. A keychain is what they call it. There are times I think I'm just a keychain, just along for the ride, just watching life surround me in a blur. The blur is my tears if you haven't guessed. 
"Time for school Brayden!" I hear my mom say. I'm in fourth grade, not enough strength to knock someone over but just enough to fling my backpack over my back and watch my younger sister with annoyance. She's dancing around the kitchen counter imagining she's in a flower field, stripping daisies of their roots. There are times I wished I was in a lion pack, they wouldn't see me as an outcast as humans do. 
The way other people treat me hasn't really affected me, I like to do my own thing, away with only my Angel Lion's company, I have six of them you see. There's Brother lion, Sister lion, the Twin Lions, Mother lion, and Blue lion. I got Blue lion when the doctor told Mom I was on the spectrum. 

The months bled into years and now I'm in seventh grade. I'm a lot stronger than I was in fourth grade. I take martial arts for disabled kids now. It's called One World Karate TM. I learn how to protect myself against bad guys, but if they win I huddle close to my Angel Lions, for they protect me. 
This year, I needed a lot of encouragement from the Angel Lions. 

   

This is based on a true story, the story of my brother and his journey with Autism. From hardships to happy times, and a story that reminds us that even though we have hard times, there are specific people- Angel Lions, that can protect us. 

One World Karate is a real life organization which teaches disabled kids how to do martial arts. Other than that, all names and settings have been changed for the privacy of the story

Peer Review

When I read she felt like an outcast and she wished to be a lion.


What does the narrator need encouragement for this particularly this year??


Reviewer Comments

I loved this piece, I felt as if the story got laid in front of my eyes