Peer Review by writing_is_art (Ayushi) (Canada)

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Passing Time

By: pencils.and.paper.roses


FREE WRITING

Time
A curious thing 
Passing slowly, passing fast
       Moments of joy,
    moments of sadness
      Increasing in age
Clocks ticking away the hours,
     days, months, years
           and then
            the end.


Message to Readers

I hope you like it! :D


Peer Review

The length was definitely a great contributor to this poem. It was short and sweet and like a dagger to the heart. The simple honesty worked extremely well in this poem- ".... and then, the end.". A simple ending that captures the entirety of life perfectly: there, and then gone.


It would benefit the poem to expand upon a more variety of moments. Moments of life don't fall into only a handful of categories; yes, there are highs and lows but their are also moments of anger, pain and elation etc. More lines would help this poem but would take away from the short-and-sweetness of it.


Reviewer Comments

Well done!

Keep Writing :)!