You may be wondering what makes me different from you or the person in the corner? Well not a lot really, I write on here, on Wattpad, and singing is my life. I'm striving to one day perform on Broadway... hopefully. I honestly just love feedback!
okay so this is very descriptive, any suggestions for improvement like grammar wise?
Written By: Bailee
February 24, 2015
A strong, musky smell of alcohol danced through the room, using its own interpetive dance its purpose to make me feel uncomfortable. His odour was intense to the point of my eyes filling with beads of water which began to form a necklace. He hadn't shaved or showered in a few days. The sharp, pointed bristles attached to his chin pieced my heart to make feel like all of my hard work had come undone and fallen into the depths of nothing that mattered any more. His shirt was stained with the musky alcohol, it was becoming his signature scent, not one of pleasure. His eyes were drained of any happiness that once took a ride through his system on a bus to wonderland. His wonderland has dissappeared, his attention moved to my direction, he was solem yet his sytem was silently buzzing with what he thought gave him happiness. Alcohol did nothing for him but give him the sweet bitter remberence that was his once sugar coated life only to leave him with a pathetic nothingness that sinks down into a place where you would never find me. I could tell his depression was increasing every second more he stared at me, I stared back, not knowing how to feel or what to say. A waterfall began to trail out from his eyes. I could see the guilt in them as he burried his head into his weak arms. Everytime he said he was sorry I knew he was lying, he never meant what he said, but this time I believed him. He didn't need to say anything ot be truthful, maybe silence was the answer to everything that had been lost and upisdedown in a hopeless world that I knew he wanted to escape but had no idea how to put the puzzle together to do it. His odour filled my nostrils as I approached him closer and gently placed my hand on his firm shoulder. He cried into my hand; every tear he realsed from his eye was every true apology to me and everything in the past he was leaving behind. His head was cold and icy because of his thoughts but hot to touch because of the intoxicating drink that he consumes himself with every day and night. His eyes look into mine, asking for forgiveness. I flinch at the thought and idea, knowing he's let me down so many times. "I'm sorry" he inoccently whispers through the warmth of his foul stenched breath. He said sorry many times before and never mean't it, it was for me to give into his controlling manner so I could give him the slightest bit of sympathy before he hated me again. But this time was different... he had changed. I know all my friends tell me its nothing special, just him being him. What they were talking about wasn't him, this was him. How he was before his life turned into a swirling darkness of hate where the only one way thing that could never give him happiness, he took, because he said the alcohol was a numbing solution, he didn't feel anything. As I pondered on this thought of his forgiveness I blankly gazed around the room, paying more attention to it than before. His arm chair was stained with the once musky alcohol that was infested with lies and hatred. My eyes filled with a flood of tears and my knees hit the hard wooden ground as my arms clenched to the arm of the chair. He put me through so much pain, the way he had treated me, but the biggest pain of all was him not being himself again. He had found himself again... he was no longer lost.